Friday, April 4, 2014

My Dog Taught Me How to Race in 5 Easy Steps

Lessons Learned from Rembrandt the Dog.

1. Always dress for the occasion.

You're probably not going to win so you might as well look good doing it.  Get a hair cut before you run a race in the heat, and let it go a little before you race in the cold.  A little bling goes a long way.  Obnoxiously loud shoes do make you faster than everyone else.

2.  Hit the bathroom before the start.

When you gotta go, you gotta go.  Don't hold it in, you'll not be happy about the consequences.  Standing in line for the porta potties may not be fun, so make the most of it by talking to everyone around you.  Every line you stand in is a party waiting to happen.

3.  Run as hard and fast as you can for as long as you can.

Pacing yourself is for wimps.  If they catch you, then you should have trained harder.  Then again, maybe this isn't such a good idea.

4.  Race supporters are the best!

When someone yells your name, you have to smile and run faster.  Wave back at people cheering.  It's the law.

5.  It's always more fun to run in a group.

When you're hurting and bonking, just look to your left or right, guaranteed there's someone that looks worse than you.  Then again, maybe there isn't.